My PlayStation changed me.. 

"What the hell is he doing here? I just want to get rid of him. He's so annoying. Go away." Yep, that's pretty much how my middle school life started. But, I am pretty glad today that people didn't like me and that I was "forever alone." Well, all those hatred did lead me to another world, it led me to my room, where there was a 21 inch tv and right below it was my PlayStation 2. After school and listening to all the usual crap that was so accustomed to my ears, there was just a smile on my face when I returned home. Switching on that slim PS2 and plugging in my controller; I was so engrossed in those games that I never realized at that moment what people thought of me, what people say about me, how much I am not wanted around. The day ends and I lie on my bed, weeping and begging for people to just like me.

Well, this was pretty much the daily schedule and went on  for one and a half years. I was bullied, ragged and left alone. People laughed, had a good time and I started getting used to it. Again, as I reached home, my PS2 was on, and I was vicariously living the characters of the virtual world. You might be thinking, "why does this guy not self-evaluate and improve himself? Why is he sticking to video games and not doing anything productive?" Well, this is where it hit me, where it struck me and NO, it wasn't that I had to self evaluate myself or that I had to do something "productive." It was simply my attitude that I had when I was glued to the TV : I had to stop thinking what people think of me, I had to stop thinking how much I am not wanted around. To be more clearer, I stopped giving a fuck. 

It may sound weird but this why Gaming inspires me. It's not just sitting in-front of the tv and pressing buttons. If I didn't have a PS2 that time, I would've had suicidal thoughts till now. By simply not caring about opinions and accepting who I was, I saw a whole new world. I didn't change myself for others. I started liking myself. 

I reach my class and after a while a few people look at me, pass some comments and laugh. I started laughing at them and I told them with an attitude "guys, I really want to thank you for wasting your daily time on me, talking about me, thinking about me." I chuckled and they just distracted themselves away from my statement. Simply following this and just feeling good about myself everyday, carrying an attitude that I am awesome boosted my self confidence a lot. Then it happened. These guys walk up to me and they say, "we are sorry, man. We really thought negatively of you, we feel bad for what we did." I accepted the apology and said, "if you don't make fun of me, it's good. If you make fun of me, it's very good. It doesn't matter to me. I am too important for myself to waste my time on such bullshit." This was a transition. My "friends" started liking me and so did others. I became more social. I was myself.

Today, I am still that guy I was 7 years ago, only more awesome. Those friends are now my bros. Today,all my old friends and new friends still make a lot of fun of me, they take my case every single day but what's the difference? No, I still don't self-evaluate myself  or play my PS3 to remove the sorrow cause I am not sad. I take the jokes quite sportingly and they like me for it. They don't think ill of me, they're there for me when I need them the most. I have what I looked for. I am liked, all thanks to that console I got for Christmas. In the end I would like to say, "The lesser you give a fuck, the happier you are."